More Wonderful News (Not)

So now he contacted my sister, trying to get my number from her, so he can contact me. I've been through to much struggling to delete him from my life and he wants to get back in. I Don't Think So! He's hurt me to much and to many times and I've made to much progress to let him drag me back down, I'm way to much better than that and I'm finally starting to realize it. So Goodbye to him FOREVER!

The Darkness

The darkness was calling, Come with me it said, My voice was scared and tired as I asked but where? and in a soft, gentle voice it spoke take my hand and don't be afraid, you wont be alone, you'll be okay. I reached into the darkness and grasped onto its hand. I was brought en to a better place, with such a warm and happy embrace, I smiled so big and laughed so free, it was a person I once long ago used to be. The time now has come the the darkness did say, its time to live another day. The people there were so loving, and kind, I didn't want to say goodbye, but it gabbed my hand and I closed my eye's, the world got colder and I was alive, its voice was now a memory but as my eye's filled up with tears I heard a faint whisper say close to my ear, we'll meet again dear love now please don't cry, this is not our last goodbye.

A few of my Secrets (Shhhh don't tell)

People only know what I tell them,

They don't know the whole truth.

And maybe

if I just keep telling the half truth,

I'll start to believe it myself....

Instead of what really happened to me.

_____________________________________________

I stay up all night long,

until I can't even keep my eye's open,

Because I'm afraid to go to bed alone.

_____________________________________________

I sometimes blame him because

of who I've become, But really its

my fault, I shouldn't have love him

in the first place.

Harm

I don't feel like myself anymore, like somethings missing.

I don't know whats wrong anymore, I've changed in so many ways.

I've been feeling Sad, Tired, Lonely, Angry, Pissed, at everyone and myself.

I get this over whelming feeling like I'm going to cry even when I'm having

a good day, like I'll take a shower, or do some laundry or maybe

doing nothing at all and I'll just break down and cry and most of the time

I don't know why, but I never cry in front of anyone, I guess I don't

want anyone to feel sorry for me,so I do it alone at night in my room.

No one will see my tears, or hear my cry's and that's when i do the most

damage to myself. I can't help but feel like

I deserve the harm I do myself. I guess in a way I do.