Memories

They say that scent is the strongest trigger to memories,

and let me tell you how true that is. I was outside today

and people across the road were snowmobiling,

I could smell the exhaust and just like that my head

started overflowing with memories of him.

You see he always smelt like the inside of a body shop,

because he always worked on some kind of engine,

really that's my favorite smell in the world, I've always

been attracted to it. So when I smelt the exhaust he

was the only thing that flew through my mind,

not to mention the thought of knowing that I'm alone.

I can't stand to be alone, and the pain has gotten worse.

I've tried to be okay, I really have but the way I deal

with everything I feel will hurt me in the long run.

I've been drinking and cutting more than I ever have,

I know that its not right and that I shouldn't but I've just

gotten to the point where I don't know what else to do

or where to turn. I feel so lost. I'm just afraid I wont

make it this time.