In this dream....This nightmare, Its as if I had been asleep, I never saw myself asleep but it was as if I had been. I suddenly just opened my eyes and for some reason I was in our family's old van, with my family. I didn't know how I got there or where we were going, but everyone seemed to be sad and upset. No one said a word except the occasional word exchange from my parents. We soon pulled into a busy driveway connected to a white building that said Funeral Home on a sign outside. I've been there before. It had been the same funeral home we had used for my great grandmother, great Aunt, and grandfathers funeral. When I read the sign I thought in an instant, Oh My God! Who died? What happened? I watched in confusement and familiarity as more of my family walked in, most of which were in tears, then finally I walked in. I had to figure this out, who was it that died. I seen a podium and on it were cards with my Grandfathers name on them, and just like that it was if something had hit me, WHAT?!? I exclaimed to myself, what is going on? This has already happened, This can't be real. I had to see it for myself, I had to see him. I waited anxiously in a line of people saying there last goodbye's...again. It finally came to my turn, and sure enough I was staring into the face of my lifeless grandfather. In the casket were the items...the memories of things that the people...my family had put in with him....again. Shocked and confused I sat as the service began. I blankly listened to the words and prayers of the Pasteur....again. The Pasteur....again asked if there was anyone who wanted to say and share a few words, I watched as my second cousin Nancy got up to read a poem she had written, as she recited her poem, I mouthed some of the words for somehow I had already heard it. When she finished my mother tapped my shoulder, Startled I jumped then turned to look at her, she handed me a piece of paper and said "Go its your turn". Clueless I got up and walked to the front of the room. I looked down at the paper, then then up at my many family, some in smiles most in tears. I looked back down at the paper...the poem I had written for my grandfather. I didn't speak a word for I had already read this poem to this room of people who have never heard it before. I slowly turned my head to look at my grandfather laying in the casket, and walked over to him, I whispered to him "Whats going on? All of this has happened already. Still looking at him, I started screaming out loud WHATS GOING ON?!? WE'VE ALREADY DONE THIS! THIS AIN'T REAL! I CAN'T SAY GOODBYE AGAIN! I CAN'T! I was hysterical, my dad, mother, uncle and aunt all had to come up and drag me out of the room, Desperately trying to get me to calm down but I just couldn't. I was the only one there who had done this twice, and as they continued to try and calm me down I woke up. I was in a cold sweat and my heart was racing, It was a dream?!? It felt so real, to real to just be a dream.....but a dream I guess It had only been.
