A Lost Forever

I went to bed alone again last night,

I'm slowly realizing that its going to be okay.
I know now that what we had wasn't real,
and that everything we've been through was fake.
How can Love be so blind?
He was perfect in my eye's.
I was the only one who couldn't see it,
how much damage he was doing to me.
Love is such a four letter lie,
Whats happened to Loves truth?
Trapped forever in the eye's of a stranger.
I know I'll Love him forever,
but that forever has come and gone,
and as I walk to bed alone again tonight I'll know..........
That everything is going to be alright.

One Day He will Say:

I am so blind, I did not not see

you standing right in front of me.

When you said that you loved me

I should have knew, that all I

wanted in this world was you.

You gave me everything, your

heart and devotion, All I did was

use you and play with your

emotions. You told me one

day that you would be gone.

I said yeah right, but I guess

I was wrong. I realized to late

how truly I love you, cause

your standing there with

him and just said I do.

Dear Love

Her wounds they bleed, Her eye's they cry,
All the pain she tries to hide.
She fakes a smile and then a laugh,
inside she weeps, the hurt is much to deep.
She sits at home,
overwhelming with pain,
so terrified of being alone.
Her arm coverd in scars and lashes,
there's no way out,
she fears she's lost it.
No happiness, No love,
she waits for him to come,

the reaper can take her away.

Hold on dear love for soon it'll all be okay.

Memories

They say that scent is the strongest trigger to memories,

and let me tell you how true that is. I was outside today

and people across the road were snowmobiling,

I could smell the exhaust and just like that my head

started overflowing with memories of him.

You see he always smelt like the inside of a body shop,

because he always worked on some kind of engine,

really that's my favorite smell in the world, I've always

been attracted to it. So when I smelt the exhaust he

was the only thing that flew through my mind,

not to mention the thought of knowing that I'm alone.

I can't stand to be alone, and the pain has gotten worse.

I've tried to be okay, I really have but the way I deal

with everything I feel will hurt me in the long run.

I've been drinking and cutting more than I ever have,

I know that its not right and that I shouldn't but I've just

gotten to the point where I don't know what else to do

or where to turn. I feel so lost. I'm just afraid I wont

make it this time.

Alone, Alone, Alone

The world is dark,

like the color in my heart,

and the people all seem to

be in fast forward as

I remain in play.

They don't even notice when

I cry. Day after day goes by

and still no one sees

the tears in my eyes.

My home is filled with life

except the parts where I roam

and think of using my knife.

Now I wonder if I died would anyone

notice, if I died would they care?

I think the answer will be no

but as Dorothy once said as

she tapped her shoes

"There's no place like home"

unless your forgotten or always Alone.

10 things I hate about I

10 Things I Hate about I

I hate the way I look,

I hate the way I dress,
I hate the way feel always so depressed,

I hate it that I love him, he's always on my mind,
I hate the way I take just one day at a time,

I hate not beaing happy and when I smile there really frowns,

I hate not looking up but always looking down,

I hate that I am shy and yet I don't know why,

I hate that when I think of things I always seem to cry,

but most of all I hate that no one wants to look into my eyes

and see the person I truly am oh so deep inside.

Broken Pieces

Broken Pieces

They think I'm okay but I'm not, They think I don't hurt but I'm drowning in pain. I tried so hard to forget what happened but every time I turn around someone brings it up, I don't want to remember how much he hurt me, I want to stop crying myself to sleep hoping everything will be alright but they never are I'll never be me again. They think that I'm happy but I'm sad, They see me in crowds but I'm lonely. I hate to sleep for I fear my dreams, I hate to be awake for I fear my Thoughts, so I'm stuck no matter what I do and every time I think or dream its of you, I know you never loved me as I did you and I know I was just used sadly by you. That's when my heart was shattered and nobody not even me has been able to put together all the broken pieces. They think I'm complete but I'm empty, They think I'm not dying but slowly I do, dying in the inside constantly weeping, constantly drowning, constantly so constantly....me.